Saturday, June 12, 2010

Memorial Day

Well, it only took 1 1/2 years, but we finally got Harrison's headstone put in. It turned out better than I thought it was going to be.  It is perfect just like he was.
 One of my favorite memories and possessions I have to remind me that Harrison was really here are his footprints and the molds of his feet. So I knew when designing his headstone that I wanted his little feet on it.
 It was a bittersweet day taking Finn to visit his brothers grave. He was only 4 days old, so tiny and precious. I am so grateful he's in our family but he's also a little reminder of what I missed out on with Harrison. I knew that he had also just been with him in Heaven and I knew they were the best of brothers and friends. Having Finn has helped fill a hole thats been in my heart for sometime. He has not and will never replace Harrison but he's given our family hope and peace. He is such a blessing and a little miracle in my eyes. I know he's helped Ruby and Hudson heal as well. I was hoping ever so much throughout my whole pregnancy with Finn that he really would be able to be apart of our family here on earth so I could show Ruby and Hudson and once he was born all I could think of was, I couldn't wait for Hudson and Ruby to meet him, to hold him, and to love him. They do love him. They love being with him, by him and he has helped us all. I am so grateful for all my sweet kids.
Our whole family. We are so blessed.


  1. Hi, this is Risa from restlessrisa. So... I read your whole blog last night, and cried the whole time. You are a great writer, and I identified with everything you were saying! Thank you for being so open with your thoughts and feelings. I should have done something like this after I had Molly. I have a few posts about it on my family blog, but that is about it. You are welcome to read it if you like. It is private, but I would be happy to invite you. Just e-mail me Sometimes I feel like I don't want to burden others with my thoughts and feelings, but I think about it every day. Whenever I hear the song "Somewhere over the rainbow," I think of her,and my journey. I had the Glee version on yesterday coming home from Studio 5, and cried the whole time :( I don't think, unless you have gone through it, that you have any idea how traumatic it is, and how deep the pain goes. I totally identify with you having mixed feelings about your next pregnancy. I am glad you are in a ward where the bishop seems to be in touch with things. I didn't think our bishop even knew. He never said a word to us. The RS Pres told my friend who does the ward newsletter not to say anything about our sweet Molly, because "that was not a baby." I guess I need to get over things, but it is hard when the most hurtful things are said and done by ward leaders. You are right... the veil was so thin for us as well. In a way, I feel lucky, and that it was a gift to feel that. I feel like some people are chosen to get to experience it on Earth. As crappy as it was/is, I wouldn't trade never having gone through it. I would only trade having her here now. K, this is getting long. Thanks for your comment :)I am your newest follower